Hey Everyone,
Part of my testimony is that I radically met the Lord when I was 16 years old and my life was changed forever. Some of that came from an experience I had being baptized into the Holy Spirit under the ministry of a man named Lonnie Frisbee. Lonnie was arguably the single most influential person in the Jesus Movement of the 1970’s. He was also a very controversial figure, and died of AIDs in 1993.
I found a message thread on MySpace that mentioned Lonnie and was written by a blogger named Chad Carter. Chad was asking for information about Lonnie. I wrote Chad back and told him about my interactions with Lonnie, and what my perspective is on the controversy surrounding Lonnie’s life.
After I wrote the letter I realized that very few people besides my closest friends are familiar with the early stages of my Christianity, and I thought it might be fascinating for some of you to read the letter I wrote. Chad has graciously allowed me to post it here in an abridged version.
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Hey Chad,
The man who led me to the Lord was was my youth pastor in early high school and knew Jesus. That was part of what led me to the Lord; I’d grown up Catholic and it blew my mind that just a regular guy could know Jesus. I recognized that and I wanted it. One week we took communion and I prayed, “Lord, I want to give You my life and I want you to give me Your life for me instead.” The next week Lonnie came and spoke to our youth group. Several miracles happened that night. One girl was imminently planning suicide (none of us knew that) and Lonnie spoke about it; pretty much addressed her directly. She lived. Another guy was torn up with guilt because his girlfriend had died in a car crash a year earlier when he was driving. Lonnie called the guy out and spoke to the situation directly. No way he could have known. The guy wasn’t a regular at our group and he showed up on a lark. When Lonnie spoke that night he would look at me and it was like he was looking right through me. For the first time I realized the full weight of my sin. Afterwards he invited people to stay for prayer and I was like, “yeah”. About ten of us stayed. Several of us were in a circle and Lonnie was going, “Some of you I feel are further from the Lord, and some I feel are questioning, and some…” and as he spoke he was looking at different people and I just knew inside that he was telling them right where they were at with the Lord. And I thought, oh man, what’s he going to say when he gets to me. He could have said, “And you young man, you’re going straight to hell for your sin” and I would have accepted it because I was so convicted. But instead he looked me in the eye and said, “But some of you are a bit closer to the Lord. You. When I look at you I see Jesus. Do you know Jesus?” And I said, yes. Because at that moment I did. Because Jesus saw all the ugly things I had ever done and He still loved and accepted me. Later that night during prayer I was filled with the Holy Spirit, just shaking and mumbling; it was like I could physically feel the presence of God, and I was letting it flow but I wasn’t out of control and it wasn’t subverting my will. I was speaking in other languages, and I’d never even heard of such a thing or even of being filled with the Holy Spirit. I was aware that I must have looked like a total freak to everyone in the room but I didn’t care because I was enjoying such sweet connection with the Father. It was incredible. Of course the event rocked my high school. It was the talk of the student body for days. People couldn’t believe that I was changed. I walked powerfully with God for two or three years after that.
The man who led me to the Lord had a hard time being a youth pastor for the church we were attending. He thought it wasn’t as close to the Lord as it could be. He and another freind of his would say things like, “Who are pastors to think they have the word of the Lord? Doesn’t scripture say when you come together two or three should speak and all should weigh what was said?” Or, “Most churches in America today are apostate”. Eventually he left that church and wound up at my new church. The week after I met the Lord I started going to a pentecostal church across town (I’m still there after 22 years). He stayed at the church for a year or so but eventually left town. Two years later he and a freind of his went on a ministry trip in which they traveled to several churches independently. At one of the churches, he met a young woman who he was convinced was the woman he was really supposed to marry (he was like twice as old as her). Ultimately his marriage ended up failing and his family was devastated. I believe part of the reason this happened was because he always seemed to have an aversion to being planted in a local church. He didn’t walk with other believers besides seeing a handful of freinds every once in a while.
A year after that I sat at the table at a restaurant with another freind from the same crowd of people who knew Lonnie, and he and his wife confided in me that their marriage was having problems as well and they didn’t know what to do. I was 22 years old at the time! I didn’t know what to say or do (I wish they’d have asked me now!)
Around the time all of this was happening, I got an opportunity to travel to California and stay in the same house with Lonnie for a month. I had just left college…
OK, a little bit of background. I was on fire for the Lord all through late high school, and went to Washington State University full of zeal and ready to win the college for Jesus. But, I didn’t really plug into any of the chruches or campus ministries and I just kind of floated around the different Christian fellowships. I thought I was God’s gift to the college and didn’t need to be planted in any one group. I got a girlfreind at the time and we were both just sure it was God’s will for us to be together and wouldn’t this all be great, going to school and winning the college for Christ? My girlfriend and I started spending all sorts of time alone together, even at night. And I thought, hey, I can handle this. And the next thing I knew we’d fallen into sexual sin together. I was devastated. I couldn’t forgive myself. I spent the next two years eating gravel, and the Lord had to sovereignly, slowly and gently let me know He still loved me and His grace still covered me, even when I thought I’d known better. I was fallen away basically for most of 88′ and half of 89′. Near the end of 89′ I still had a lot of stuff to work out, but I was back solid with the Lord again, and really felt I should look up Lonnie.
I called the guy whose house Lonnie was staying at in Poway, CA, and talked about possible ministry opportunities in Brazil and South Africa. I could work for the guy’s construction outfit in the mean time. So with that I loaded up my 76 Chrysler Cordoba (man I loved that car!) and headed down. I stayed down there for about a month and then a real job opportunity ended up opening for me in Seattle. Everyone there agreed I should pursue it so I wound up coming back north.
My month in California was really more mundane than anything. Daytimes I’d help out with work and night times we’d all watch TV. (There were a few other guys staying there as well, one who worked for the fellow and Lonnie’s brother for a while as well.)
I remember Lonnie painting. He loved to do artwork and he was working on a portrait of the girl from Afghanistan on that famous National Geographic magazine cover from.. 1984? 1985? He painted her very well and then used gold leaf to form a halo around her. He loved gold leaf.
I remember Lonnie was very hurt because at some point a couple of years previously all of his earthly belongings (books, letters, paintings and memorabilia) were at a friend’s house, and the “friend” had burned everything because he’d felt like God had told him to do that. That was messed up. Lonnie was really wounded by that.
I remember watching the news and a story about Jimmy Baker came on. It showed Jimmy in prison. Lonnie was like, “The Lord still loves that man, and He’s still going to use him!”
I remember going to a farmers market in southern San Diego and Lonnie talking about all the different kinds of stuff you could by. We got a lot of fruit and then went back to the house and made Sangria for the night. It was great stuff.
Before I left to come back home Lonnie asked me to plant corn in his garden. No idea why. It ended up being a really busy time before I had to fly back to Seattle (I’d ended up selling my Cordoba when I was down there… it was a heart break) but for some reason I really wanted to get that corn planted. I think it was symbolic more than anything. The last two hours before I was driven to the airport I spent furiously getting the corn planted.
I didn’t talk to Lonnie again after that time. I found out from a friend in 94′ that Lonnie had died. I’d gotten totally out of touch with that circle of people. That was when I found out the history of Lonnie with Costa Mesa and Anaheim.
Even though Lonnie liked the Set Free church, Lonnie steered clear of any church membership or commitment. The shock of going from the Jesus movement to the ultra-controlling Shepherding movement, losing his wife to an affair, and then the seeming rejection when he came back to Chuck at Costa Mesa and wanted to minister but Chuck wanted him to take a sabbatical and just work in the bookstore for a season… it all came together I think to produce the unwillingness to ever really be devoted to a corporate body again.
Lonnie was a man of God, and a prophet. And it was hard watching men close to me be devastated in their personal lives (myself included) by the distance from the organized church which seemed to come from association with Lonnie.
In 1990 I was replanted in my church, and have faithfully attended and served there ever since. I don’t think churches are the end-all, be-all of the Body of Christ on earth. And I recognized that they are ususally secular entities as well as spiritual (with a secretary, treasurer, board of trustees etc.) But they are a great tool for “not forsaking the assembling together of the bretheren” (Heb 10:25)
Hey, thanks for asking about all this. It’s good to write these things out and get them on paper. Let me know if you have any other questions.
Bless you man,
Ted Cooke
